Week Ends.

And so, the forth week has ended, forever. :D

Skipped Ninja-do on thursday because i was dismissed early and wasn't feeling healthy enough for a rewarding physical training. Went to Kenneth Aunt's Condo instead. It was grand. Played tennis half-naked in the sun and perspired away my flu. Soaked in Jaccuzis and went for a swim afterwards. As i laid, floating away on the reflected surface of the moon and castles around me, tranquility and hope invigorated me. I want my parents to enjoy such luxuries one day. I was lucky. I have friends who gave me these chances to be aweful and indulge in the luxury of seeing the moon as i laid on jaccuzi; play tennis in the sun and breathe with contentment. My parents, they might never get the chance to even chance their own eyes upon a tennis court nor dip their feet into a jaccuzi. Hais... can i do it? Will i make it?

Anyways, I had lots of fun. I guess all of us did. Haha, tennis' fun. It's better then badminton because i love breathing the open air and soaking in the sun.

Went over to thorn over night at Ben's house on Friday. It was quite lame. Everybody's mapling. Crap. Even my labtop was borrowed away for it. Wl got pissed and had a hard time pacifying him. Though i did not maple, his outburst brought me guilt. As i sat alone outside the room he locked himself in, I realised that i've done much wrong. I was arrogant, proud and spiteful. Though not much escaped from my lips, i felt bad. I must change. Wl's a special person but his quiet habit of bottling up his emotions makes other easy to go over the edge without noticing. Alas, i had spoken so much ill.

Met the Mechanical Engineering Course Manager, ME's Welfare manager, ME student's Year 1 manager and my own lecturer on friday too, with my dad. I wasn't frighten or nervious since i had good reasons and i've learnt how to explain myself and communicate. They were stern at first but as my reasons came through as logical and genuine to their reasoning, they became warm and friendly. The sternest of them all(and toppest), the Course Manager even joked about hoping that i will stay in ME. It brought laughs to the respectable elders and to me. I was deeply touched. Kindness does exist in this world, as proven once again. I was so be-spectacled till this year. Myopic i have been. Everything was near perfect, well explained and well recieved, except that i tear-ed. It's my "weakness". I can't help it when i'm touched. Tears started to well when my plaguing illness was mentioned and the kind response from the dear amiable elders.

Went to help out at my parent's shop afterwards when another kind lecturer called me to urge me to submit my assignment. I had completed it a week ago but i had forgotten about submitting it. So far, i have met quite a delightful number of kind lecturers. Kind souls teaching Com. Programming, EECAD, Maths, the Managers, Eltech, Autocad and Sports and Wellness official. It's true, embrace kindness and kindness shall embrace you.

Wasted Sat and woke up early today to tidy the house for ancestral workship. Ate quite alot of food because my uncle had thrown a buffet for my one-month old cousin. Haha, a slightly enjoyable day.

And so, week 4 has come to an end, without any homework done. Damn, work has piled up, guess i will be busy this week.

Read up Mechanical and Biotechnological reference books in the library which are beyond my level. Most probably i will choose to continue my path down biotechnology at RP. I have started my biotechnology pet project anyways. I see the outline of my letter and project in my mind's eye now. :)

Twisted my neck although my flu is cured. Damn.. Perhaps i will not be attending ninja-do tomorrow since i can't reap maximium benefit from time spent on training, i might as well spend it on clearing the pile of assignments.

Good night.

Update.

Hmm..I MUST USE PROPER ENGLISH!!

Ehem..

A long time it has been and so dusty has my little hut grown. to be :( Anyways.. its been two chalets, One Ubin chalet and one class chalet-cum-Neth's b.dae party and two boring weeks of school. I've learnt quite alot these weeks. Haha. Strangely, it's only been 10 days since the Birthday chalet. It feel like a month ago. Maybe it's the amount of changes and events that i've been through that made me feel so.

I had lots of stuff to blog but can't recall much since i'm down once again with some bug *yawn*. A brief recap recalled memories of writing 4 offical letters to lecturers, going to foreign classes, awkward moments in ex-class, some special occurrences with different people and two chats with lecturers.

Anyways, learnt alot about dealing with people, you, me, everybody. Chatted with the girls and some fellas whom i didn't really interact with in the past. Perhaps it's my disbelief in myself that had prevented me from all the things that i could do. Perhaps it's really what shackles all of us.

Drunk 1/2 bottle of red wine and bits of Volka during the chalet. Welcomed the heat and dizziness from the foreign substances. With swelled guts, i went on to help the situation when Kenneth was drunk and chatted on with my dear classmates. With a laziness stemming from my drowsiness, i shut out all the doubts about myself and hindering thoughts and did what i did from instincts and will. Glad to have did that. It was a valuable lesson. Anyways, had a really long chat with Nigel. It was enjoyable. Haha. I thought and analysed too much, so much that i was disorientated from natural instincts and empathy. Anyways, i was touched by the girls and some of the boy's reaction when they saw Yong Chuan. Ah F***. I guess he really have to see his grave before he will sob. Infact the anger shown by Sarah when she saw Yong Chuan smoking brought a slight sorrowness to me.. haha i wondered if she or others will feel this way for me too if i ever harm myself.

Anyways, the moral of the story is: Don't Hesitate. Close your judgemental eyes and move closer with your heart.

Haha. Short recount of stuff that happened:

Ubin chalet- Wet blanket everyone.
Class chalet- Enriching experience, was of help. Had fun playing soccer :D Wanna brush up soccer skills.
Wrote letters explaining absence. Very indirectly "suan" one lecturer in one of the replies. >:P
Caught up with all of the classes.
Borrowed a book on natural sciences and theoretical physics. Finished the physics book.
Waved good-bye to aeroplanes twice.
Went for two ninja-do trainings, skills are improving.

Chatted with lecturers.

Speaking of my chat with them, i learnt quite alot of stuff from them. Hmm. I hope to study Biotech in RP but my new lecturer dissuaded me. She told me that biotech is cramped with the "best of brains" and ultimately, theres not much rice bowl, true prosperity only laid ahead for those with PhD for Biotech and mind you, you need to get your degree and masters before you can get your PhD, which takes 5 years and extraordinary achievements to complete. Rockson's(a beng blogger) blog also mentioned it. Gosh, i thought alot but i guess i will stick to my plans. Engineering, on the other hand, seems to be pretty sunny to me. Hmm.. why didn't the government clarify about the prospects of biotech guaduates. Hmm.. i would like to see how " beautifully bloomed" the future biotech economy will be. If i chose this path, i will have to make sure that i will not get stuck as a technician.

Met my ex-classmates.

At least the girls are still quite friendly. F***.. why did i purposely chose to repeat the subject. Anyways stop considering about requesting to add back the modules that were automatically dropped when i repeat the two modules. The guys were quite alright too, except a few i guess. Hmm.. my instincts were right. Maybe i do have some insight into people's heart. They feigned ignorance when i waved at them the other day. Nevermind. I have my CCA guys with me. 5 to 3. I have not lost my pride, i was not lonely in spite of their rejection. I guess i can't blame anyone if they were to start to think negetively of me, since i'm repeating two modules and disappearing for no apparent reasons. FREAK! I can't be a perfectionalist now too, since i'm pushing back two modules. At least i better and did futher than them for similar subjects and communicated with lecturers and new module mates. Thus, i could not be considered "pathetic" and "irresponsible". Hope to tighten the friendship with two of the quieter guys and three girls.

Gained some insight from my father's story too. Haha. Lots of lessons to learn from these weeks, hope to be able to digest them. I feel much more ready now. One year was not spent in vain.

Haha. At least i have my polians around me. Damn, can't thorn overnight at Ben's house. Meeting lecturer with dad on friday to explain my absence. Hah.. oh well. Another chance to learn.

Another 57.5 hours to weekends! :D Haha.. my BFB( big fat bundle of joy) is one month old on saturday. Looking forward to good food!

Conclusion

Finally the exams are over... Phew.

Kinda disappointing today. I wasted lots of time by not skipping through questions. Lost a minimum of 16 marks today. Forgot the formula for Cosine Rule.. 8 marks gone, forgot another, 6 marks gone. Freak man. They were the first part of the two questions, everything is literally derived from them. Damn. 11 marks down the drain. There's a really slim chance of getting A1 now. Hai.

Anywaes.. I'm going for 2 chalets at one go! Wee! One's at Ubin and the other's at coasta sands. Damn.. have to complete some of two week's worth of assignment before i go. Hope to have fun!

Haix... dunno wad's up. Is it my fault or my bro's. From all angles that i see, he should reflect on how he treats his family members. Almost got into a violent encounter.. I backed off as usual. I don't want the knife in my hands to end up in either of our intestines. Looks like i really have brush up my knife defense skills and joint locks. You get to use it only once. I wouldn't want to get jailed for standing up for myself or my parents.

English exam's finally over!

Yes!

Phew... it's a relief now that my english exam is over. Hah. Left with E.maths paper two. =]

Haha. I find the exams quite easy.. but i shan't hope too much, at least a B3 and a A2 for my english and e.maths respectively will put a straight smile across my face. Woah. The unrational stress i gave myself almost killed me and the trips to the toilet had a serious impact on my health man. Woot! I'm glad that they are finally over.

Hmm.. as for English, i overwrote for my speech and only spent 30mins on my compo. Freak! That's half the time i allocated for my compo and twice the length i intended for my speech. Agh. Nevertheless i guess i can score on content. Hopefully my hastily piece of work isn't a masterpiece of grammar mistakes. XD Hah. This is the first time i wrote everything that came to my mind without much consideration. Haha.. wrote so fast that my hand's black from the unabsorbed ink. =] Haha. Kinda proud too, about my neat and tidy peices of work with improved handwriting. :D

Sad to know that Ninja-do is srinking too. F***. I don't know what to say and from what i see, i'm part angry and part depressed. I guess i'm not in the position to say much. Poor JQ. Hmm.. maybe i should pop by tommorow? I'm not confident of securing a good E.maths paper two result on friday though.

Anyway, I lack the mastery over myself. I'm still defeated by myself; I lack discipline and control over my emotions. At least i'm quite lucky to be able to complete the exams without much difficulties. So much for "preparations" and "determination".

Reading through my sec 3 and 4 compositions, i recalled lots of memories. From a hindsight, I understood myself better. I was right in my decision. My different compos of different topics, they all point towards one thing, Me; my mental processes and emotions. My Sec 1 & 2 class journals, my BLOODY creative compostions and my convincing stories, they are my heritage from my past.

Writing topic 4, "Career" as my topic for the re-examinations, i envisioned my path now. It seemed to have came subconsciously and thus, my speed and proficency in writing it. I know what i seek now. I see it.

Weee. My bro went to "chionging" today. Haha it means night clubbing. Freak. I dunno what will happen. Well. Hope he will have fun!

Haix.

Feeling sad.

Pon school liaox.

So much for all the travelling and ticket fare. Things have to be done or get over with quickly. Going home to start my revision now.

Haix.

Hmm.. i think i'm always displaying signs of depression... hah.

Anywaes... interesting link. Kinda vulgar although it does give insight into politics and some interesting stuffs. :)

http://rockson.blogspot.com/